Je Suis Calme

Peace comes at the most unusual times in life. Growing up, I was an outcast, in elementary, in jr. high, and in high school and in college.  I was different.  I looked at life differently.  I didn’t understand why people were fake.  I didn’t understand why people didn’t stand for what they believed.  I didn’t understand a whole world of things.

I believed I was born to the wrong time and place, and now, in this lifetime, I am certain of it.  Leaving Canada was not only to start my new life but to also search for where I belong.  Sometimes we do not belong anywhere, but we belong everywhere.  Sometimes people like myself have to keep moving to be at peace and calm.  Sometimes in life, its different than the norm and that is ok.

I think I was always meant to be in Europe, because here, alone in my world and life, I feel so at peace and calm. Je suis calme. First time in my life that I am calm. And I am calm because I do not have the worries of fitting in.

Learning a new language and way of life is not easy.  Knowing absolutely no one in your world is not easy either, but who ever said it was going to be easy.  No one promised this.  And I am glad because then would it even be worth it when you can wake up in your day and say, “oh god, what a shitty day it is…but I am good!  I am really good!”

The people that come in and out of your life sometimes we do not understand at the moment or the time why we are meeting them, why their interactions may be important to us.  Yesterday I met a couple at the immigration office in our meeting for the finality of our visas.  The were doing exactly the same thing as I, only they were a couple.  They also knew no one here, they also just up and came here.  I thought I was the only one because everyone I met said they’d never met a person that just left everything behind for a new life.

I am glad I ran into this couple. They are just starting out in life and what a wonderful life ahead of them I can see.  They are so open to new experiences and ideas.  They are not the type that you would think would just up and move.  They reminded me of my daughter.  The curiosity on their faces, their youth, the living life with no expectations they seemed to exuberate on their faces.  I am pleased I started to speak to them.

I am unique in who I am, my way of living though, it’s not a new idea, it is not unique. But very few people adapt to this way of living because they are scared of what tomorrow brings or does not bring.  I too get scared, they too, but who said you can’t be scared.  That is the draw…the taking the step into the unknown, trusting and believing in yourself.  Trusting and believing no matter what fences, walls or barricades are in front of you, that you have the tools to break through, break them down, scale those walls.

Je suis calme.  This is the mantra of Paris.  Calme!

Je suis calme even though everything is not perfect in others eyes, it is perfect in mine.

Je Suis Calme

 

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