And an ending.  Everything.

Of late, I have had many new beginnings and many endings.  And I am 100% thankful for them all. There are special people who come in and out of our lives, they impact us in a way that perhaps we do not even realize, until that pivotal moment, that moment when clarity comes.

I have small moments of clarity lately…small, but significant ones that keep me moving. Slowly, but I’m still moving. I’m still moving forward, however scary it seems to be.   My procrastination has made its head in my life to where excess decisions, I would just not bother with, making pertinent decisions, sorta, well, they laid on the back burner till the pot was ruined.  And with this…the small, maybe insignificant bit of info I brought out of that burnt mess, I have control.

Learning I have it.  I made my move to get it, but what I forgot is, that I was just to simply take it. That was it. Grab it and take control.  So this is the beginning.  I have accepted the control. Today in fact, just now. I’ve got it. My new beginning, the first chapter, learning I have the control, the second chapter, taking it.

Sometimes with these new beginnings, the people that are in our lives, they get left behind or do not want to come with us on our journey. So with these new beginnings, also are some endings.   Or even perhaps pauses. I hope they are just small pauses, little fractions in time that will start up again, not miss a step or beat and get right back on track.

Beginnings are scary and exciting and thrilling all at the same time. Scary, because we are yet to know the ending of this beginning.  Thrilling and exciting because it is a new…the mystery is something that keeps me going, because I fail to put my tin foil hat on each day to predict my future.  I do not want to know…although it might be easier. What I do like to know in advance is that I trust myself. I trust that the gut that reacts to everything, that tells me yes or damn rights…is going to pull through for me each and every time.

It seems as my new beginning might take place outside Paris’s walls.  Its outskirts, but definitely not Paris.  We shall see…as my lease on my apartment comes to a close, the closer the date, and my procrastination to sign with anything yet…leaves all the doors wide open, doesn’t it?

Everything has its beginning…and ending.