Not That Big 

Yesterday sitting in the little cafe at my hotel, feeling a bit sorry for myself that I have to trod through the rain, (that was not the bad part) and walk to have yet another dinner by myself.  When the news was turned on.  This was the first time that I had watched a television set in a month and a half.  So…with my dismay, I was to be shocked to see what had been transforming yesterday afternoon.  It put my world into perspective.

I am going through nothing as big as that.  A vehicle being plunged into a crowd not knowing of whether or not this was a terrorist act (at the time) or not.  Those peoples lives changed forever!  Whether they watched what took place or was in the midst of it.  Whether a passerby or one of the tragically hit, forever their lives will be changed.  Perhaps some for the good, but for the rest, it is not.

What they now carry with them will take a while to get over and to recover from. For my problem, I need to just fucking relax.  I need to go with the flow.  How easy is that!  I have turned it into such a problem.  This is no problem this is life and I am living it.  We often look at things the wrong way.  Eating dinner alone is not a problem.  Its nothing.  Fearing for your life is a problem, seeing your life flash in front of your eyes, is a problem.  Dinner, no sweat baby.

So why do I write this reader.  To remind you, that bill that’s not paid,  that test your worried you didn’t pass, that promotion your hoping for, that apartment you cant find, that love that hasn’t shown up yet… these are all things not of the moment, but of the future.  Your stressing about it only makes the moment worse and helps not at all of things you cannot change.  The future is just that so let it be.  This moment is the one you have, the only one.  Live it as if its it!

I have not all the answers, but every once in awhile the thoughts that should just come to us daily, come out of hiding and I am compelled to share with you my progress and with hopes that you progress with me.  Its raining out today and I shall walk at the beach, hat off, rain on my face and enjoying the fact that I am in the French Riviera, alone!  Because we all know, I could be here with that partner, alone, and wouldn’t that just be horrific.

We are all alone at one point in our lives, it is better to be alone, alone, than alone with someone.

I am eating my breakfast, alone, but not. I have you reader, I have you and I have the world at my feet.  My problem, not so big, my thoughts in my head calm.  Je suis calme. Je vais bien. Je defines moi.

Au Revoir 

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