Those days that go on forever, you know the ones, that never seem to have an ending, that meld into the next only because your having so much fun in the first day that you do not realize that it has become your last day, those are how my days are made up, these days.
I opened my eyes at 11:30, oops, I missed breakfast! So, I grabbed my phone, put on a bit of music so that I could find my rhythm for the day. It’s usually dictated by a few songs on how “you had me, now you don’t , poor you ” kind of music. I am never without tunes, and have always had music on in my life. I love singing, although I do not have a grand voice, I understand music, I can read music and I want to play music. That is the one thing I do have on my bucket list, learning to play as many instruments that I have always been interested in, as possible. I wish I could sing but singing to myself aloud will have to do for now.
I love all types of music, it can lead your day. That is why there is music scores in movies and in theatre, its sets the mood up for the watcher, the listeners, the readers. My music for this day is “Firework” by Katy Perry. She is brilliant…pop isn’t always my thing, but I have a great appreciation for those words the rhythm they give, they pace my step is forced to take as I walk these cobblestone streets of this great city, Amsterdam.
You just have to ignite the light! Taking one or two steps to give your day the start it needs, especially when its so very easy to turn a note and get down. My moods changes like the weather…you never know what you are going to get from one word whispered to the next. My mood is definitely dependant, or had been, on words said, looks given, body language recieved. I am trying to change that by starting my day out in a much more positive light by chosing to listen to music before my body rises from its place of rest.
Those first words Katy exclaims, put a fire under me…I have to ignite that light…no one is gonna do it for me…i have to take that risk, how ever scary and intimidating it is. I am no longer that plastic bag floating in the wind…I have purpose and point to my life and only I can hold me back. But with her words, there seems to be purpose to my step. No one can see Katy whispering in my ear, that I am someone, but she is there, giving me props to keep going, to smile that smile that is my true self. She is an inspiration today!
Jazz more than any other music has a place in my life, always has, but you have to be in a good place for it to be pertinent…not necessarily a great place, but to feel the music that you love so much without hesitation with full appreciation, you have to first be able to appreciate where you are in your life. That other music, rock, pop, country, its different…you can listen and not listen, do you feel what I am saying, are you picking up what I am laying down? I am not saying reader, that for Jazz to be appreciated, you have to have your life right, not at all, as a lot is about being blue…however, what I mean to say is…you have to be ok with it. I am! I finally am.
I am alone in this world forging on to my new life, my new destination, and I fully accept it. But to take it a step further, I fully accept that at any moment, something may trip me up, and make that loneliness just so brilliant that I explode with happiness that is so hard to contain, so hard to explain. Hmm, wouldn’t that be nice…I am fully willing to have what happens, happen. And its easy in a place where you have never been before, like this city.
This is such a brilliant town Amsterdam, its easy to be swayed into a lullaby. Just walking on the streets although very dreary in the sky, you can not help but bolster at the greatness around you. Its happy and sad and ecstatic and lovely all at the same time. The sadness is only the gray of the sky, not so much the air of what is to be enjoyed. As i said before, Amsterdam a most welcoming, friendly fun loving city, that is of the best character.
And as I sit here in this cafe, Dwaze Zaken just down the way from my hotel, Nora Jones comes over my earphones. Her soft voice in with the soft Jazz playing, “those sweet words” conjures all kinds of feelings one might have. You can turn her words to what ever situation you are in. Whether with someone you miss, a solitude relation, like myself, I welcome myself to commune with myself, as I love getting to know who exactly I am supposed to be.
And that is what I love about where I am. There is a peace when sitting in the cafe alone, by myself, just typing out my words. Its more than I could do before. It was a month ago I would go eat out by myself and couldn’t finish eating my meal without crying in it first. Now, the only tears that come to my eyes are one that are the result of being moved by the words I share, or a memory conjured up by sights and sounds, smells and just an all over atmosphere.
I am loving my adventure so far…I feel myself growing in so many different ways. In fact, I am getting stronger and more sure of what it is that I am wanting each day. Two more days in Amsterdam then off to Paris. Can’t wait to find out what lessons Paris has to offer me.