How do you wake up each morning?  Well, depending on the amount of light shining in my window when I do, often seems to support the type of day I am to have.  These days, not a lot I can count on to make me happy.  So ya know what I plan to do.  I have to make myself happy.  I just got to do it.  There is no choice in the matter any longer, why, well, because I do not want to be sad any longer.  I don’t want to be depressed.  I want truly, to be happy.

What do you see in the mirror in the morning when you wake up?  Do you see your beautiful self?  Or do you see something you do not want to be?  Are you looking within and on the outside?  Are you simply just looking on the outside?  Are you only looking within?  I pose this question with purpose.

I have always been told I’m not pretty.  I’m nothing special to look at.  When I was a child, I was told I was downright ugly.  Being told this as a child, multiple times, enough times to act as if it is being drilled into you, something for you remember, well, you tend to believe it after a while.  I choose to believe what I was told.  So I grew up thinking I am just not very attractive.  Ugly to be exact.

Can we define what ugly means… @ Dictionary.com it lists Ugly as meaning…adjective, uglier, and ugliest. 1.very unattractive or unpleasant to look at; offensive to the sense of beauty; displeasing in appearance.2.disagreeable; unpleasant; objectionable:ugly tricks; ugly discords. 3.morally revolting:ugly crime. 4.threatening trouble or danger:ugly symptoms. 5.mean; hostile; quarrelsome:an ugly mood; an ugly frame of mind. 6.(especially of natural phenomena) unpleasant or dangerous:

So if we go by this…all my life, is summed up as my being offensive to others.  Well, well, well.  So, if you only knew me by words printed on a page, never knowing what I looked like, sounded like, well, I wouldn’t be offensive, and might possible have a chance at being beautiful, not offensive, and not ugly.

But who is it that determines who is beautiful, and who is not.  I guess it really depends on the values and morals instilled in one’s person when they are young.  My definition of beautiful…never selfish, never greedy, always helping, always loving, caring, emotional, passionate, heartfelt, exotic, different. By my definition, I am beautiful.  The people I choose to place myself around are beautiful.  Inward and out.

Superficially, I decided I need to see my beauty.  It started long ago, but I really didn’t realize till now what I was doing.  I was trying to love myself for how God created me.  How God wants to see me.  I stopped dying my hair trying to cover up my ever so changing Red hair.  See, redhead’s hair turn white, naturally, not grey, not salt and pepper like the rest of the planet.  White.  Which at age 32, is quite harsh.  Red hair also does not hold colour.  Well, at least for those that can’t afford a personal hair dresser 24hrs a day. White, yep, try dying that …you get bright orange for those that know nothing about red hair.  Not pretty…you know… you see the little old ladies with the “oops” purple or orange tinged hair walking down the street and you think to yourself, oh, how cute.  Nope, not cute, insanely maddening. So I have gone all naturel…two years now.  No hair dye, nothing, just all natural white and red hair.  My hair dresser tells me woman pay to have their hair dyed as mine is…because it looks blonde, platinum blonde, with red highlights…Nope, its white hair with what’s left of my red-head!

I don’t wear a lot of makeup, not on my skin anyhow, cream, that is it.  I wear tubes instead of mascara, and sometimes I get my lashes done, and sometimes skin colour eye shadow.  Why?  I don’t know, I don’t want to hide behind that goop, I want people to see me, just as much as they see my heart.  So if they see my heart, and think I am beautiful, maybe with conditioning, they will see my face as beautiful too…they will come to see, what is not acceptable as beauty on the outside, soon will be.

I am not saying not to wear makeup, but that is not what makes you beautiful, what God gave you, makes you beautiful.  Those wrinkles you have, you earned them.  Do you see your grandmother as ugly for having them, nope, you would never think that.  So how come those wrinkles you have earned are not beautiful in your eyes?  My crow’s feet, my laugh lines around my mouth that are getting bigger every year…they are who I am.  They are what God wants me to see as beautiful, otherwise, why are they there?  To fight against, to keep us on our toes?  Nope, they are there to wear as badges earned for the lives that we have to live.  So instead of hiding those badges of honour…can’t we show them with pride?

So my point of my ranting’s…you are beautiful and you wake up each morning, beautiful.  I too, am beautiful.  To be truly happy, you have to appreciate who you are as much as others around you appreciating who you are.   And for a woman, I find it important to like who you are.  And liking who you are is also appreciating the beauty that you are. Loving yourself, for who you are.

So, Wake Up, Beautiful!